They want to know how you are, and if you’re feeling really shitty, they’re going to do everything in their power to make your day a little less shitty. This concept was just so mind-blowing to me because I’ve dated guys whose reactions were… “Why are you sad? Well it wasn’t me, I didn’t do anything, but I had a great day! Are you ready to fall in love with a man who will love, respect and adore you? I know what it feels like to be with a man who is emotionally withholding and abusive. I can help you break your habit of dating bad boys and deadbeats.
When a really nice guy speaks about women in his past like they’re the devil incarnate you should have a little red flag come up. My mother dated a pathological liar all through her 20s as her way of escaping pressures to be and act a certain way. Dating bad boys felt rebellious, and I guess still does for a lot of people. Except that women now have ever-fewer boxes to break out of. It was after all that insanity and a few months of being pleasantly alone, that I met Mr. Nice Guy. Dating him was enlightening — it had the totally opposite effect.
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Apparently, if you’re the nice guy, your existence won’t even appear in her radar. So if you’re a nice guy who went on a nice date with a nice girl, try being authentic and call her the next day. You MUST pay attention the warning signs of a dysfunctional man and immediately STOP dating him. You MUST consciously and willfully STOP dating emotionally unavailable men, bad boys and jerks. A good guy will introduce you to the people he knows in the room and will make sure you’re taken care of with food, drinks and people to talk to. Jerks usually know how to treat women, because they’re experienced at seduction.
Finally, we get to talking about the woman he’s writing to. They spoke on the phone last night for the first time. The conversation lasted for an hour and change. Then he shows up or else if he’s running late, he’ll call you. A Good Guy will make sure you have the details for your date including the time, place and when he’ll pick you up or meet you. You end up calling him and he holds your life up, telling you he’s not sure how long his meeting is going to be.
I would start to yell, treat him like he treated me, and look for ways out of the relationship. He, of course, didn’t like this new me and would tell me so, but I didn’t really care. I no longer wanted to be someone good to him while he did whatever the hell he wanted. The more he changed for the worse, the more I wondered what I had done wrong, because, obviously, it was all my fault.
I’m just trying to understand this new world I have found myself in. I’m a woman who’s all about going out with nice guys. Shocking, I know — but it shouldn’t be. I’m not an anomaly of the XX chromosome, I’m not boring, overly domestic, and certainly not a prude. I’m just a girl who’s done putting up with the BS and douchebaggery of bad boys. If a guy judges your behavior or your friends, he’s probably not a nice person in general.
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The answer is never because they don’t feel obligated to. Jerks know they are jerks and know they have to make up for it somehow. This is where the surprise gifts come in and getting you something you casually talked about once. They are eager to please and surprise you all the time with their generosity. This generosity succeeded gifts and goes into the bedroom.
He’s always wearing a smile — even on bad days
The kind of strength we’re talking about, is the kind that translates into ‘cool’ is the kind a man uses to project personal confidence, control, and leadership. It means being unaffected by the opinions of others. Why jerks get women is because they’re super attuned to their abilities and believe in them, without getting flustered. Seeing situations for what they really are so you can take mature, decisive action. It means having the strength to do your own thing while encouraging others to do theirs. Suddenly he stops acting defensive and goal-tending against perceived threats and challenges.
He’s nice because he wants to be, not in hopes of getting acknowledged. He doesn’t feel entitled to get compliments because of his good deeds. A genuinely good guy, however, doesn’t have to tell you he’s nice — he shows it. Hence, the belief that women constantly fall for guys who blatantly mistreat them and overlook the ones who truly care. We’ve seen it in “Spider-Man,” “10 Things I Hate About You” and more 80s teen movies than we can count. Dudes love to believe this, but it doesn’t make it true.
If you don’t have a moral compass and care how other people feel, then you probably don’t give a crap either. Let me tell you exactly how I felt in every single relationship I had where a guy wasn’t a good guy and used manipulation to https://hookupranking.org/ win me over. No genuine guy brags about all the adventures he plans on taking you on. However, a jerk in disguise is trying to shield his true nature with a smokescreen full of plans that he has no intention of actually fulfilling.
They are actually humble about being nice. He’s also more than willing to go at your pace because guys who are authentically nice want you to be comfortable. A nice guy wants to know that you’re ready for the next step and aren’t being pressured into it. He wants you to take his word, even if his actions don’t add up. Fake “good guys” want to get away with as many things as they can, so if you catch him doing something he shouldn’t, he’ll use being nice as a pass.
